Everyone's smiling
by Shruika
Summary: An incoherent and partially poetic collection of short stories. The first chapters contain some kind of poem, the later are 'true' short stories centering on Hiruma Youichi. I hope you enjoy them.
1. Everyone's smiling

_**Everyone's smiling**_

_Hiruma  
_

My eyes, they meet with yours  
In this starless night I'm only watching  
The one person near to me  
I'm only seeing you  
My hair falls down my shoulders and  
You run your hand over it  
Fingers touch cheek, eyes emerge with darkness  
In this vacant night I'm only watching  
The one person near to me  
My lips twitch as I smile  
Your hands run down my skin and  
I aspirate a word into your ear  
Which lets you tremble  
For you're the one who bought me  
This starless, vacant night  
I'm giving you my skin, my groaning, my sigh, my body  
Even my smiles  
That's all you can expect from me  
Says me, says you  
Although you wish for more  
And I will give for once, for this one time  
As long as night lasts  
And my eyes are only seeing you.

* * *

_Sena_

You laugh and I laugh with you  
You dance around and I'm following  
Every single step of yours  
Every single move  
You keep running until there's no air left in your lungs  
And when you look around  
I'm there  
You laugh again and I can't stop myself  
From imitating you  
Eventually, we sit silently together  
When your gaze drifts off into the sky  
Your still smile remains  
Whilst your eyes get very sad  
And I can't help myself but smile as well  
Because for nothing in the world  
Would I show, would you show  
Openly the truth of your sole being  
Death will come  
We both know the truth that cannot be denied  
Nonetheless we smile  
To cover up our invisible tears.

* * *

_Hiruma and Mamori_

Smile, you say  
Let's smile together  
It's easy to learn smiling  
For it's nothing more than a gesture, a mimic?, I ask  
Let's smile, you say  
This little, inconspicuous thing helps connecting people  
Do we really want that?, I do ask  
Being connected through something  
None of us does understand?  
Alright, let us smile  
It opens your counterpart's heart  
It attracts people  
Paradoxically, it can be both  
Truth and lie, honest and cunning, healing and violating  
Smile, you say  
And let us experience  
The influence of this gesture, I reply  
But you shake your head  
Let's smile because  
It's more than a gesture  
It's a sign one could embrace you open-hearted  
Without being rejected  
But being able to touch your innermost  
Maybe even your lonely heart.

* * *

_Hiruma_

Your hands let go off me and  
I'm standing in front of a beaten guy who's crawling on the ground  
The sun sets and shadows sprawl  
And I'm looking down on something  
Less worth than anything I can imagine right now  
One last time  
You try to raise your head in order to insure yourself  
It is no demon craving for  
The sight of you wasting away  
But the umbrages destroy the rest of hope  
By forming silhouettes of mine  
Showing more of the truth than I'd have revealed myself  
Nothing could be more surreal than  
Your own offspring  
Raising his hand against yours  
Against your words  
Against your shouts  
Against your disrespect and neglect  
Against the fear you sowed  
In a child's heart and head  
Once, before one of them perished by cold  
But now, right now  
I'm standing above yourself  
Looking down on nothing more than a person  
Who never loved  
Who never cared  
And I feel  
Nothing  
For you don't concern me anymore  
And I smile  
It may seem vicious, devilish and merciless  
Even fake  
But what else would I do  
It's victory  
Isn't it... ?  
Why shouldn't I smile...


	2. Storm

They're spinning  
Like a tremendous storm  
Rushing, whistling, whispering  
Screaming  
And then  
Just for a short moment, for a glimpse  
It's silent  
I hear only my breathing  
Hear it stop  
I feel the muscels of my arm  
Of my entire body  
Tense

And then it's cutting through the air  
The ball tears forward above all players  
Unhindered and deadly  
For any opponent team  
The moment it's catched  
And the points are ours  
Is the moment the storm returns

My mind's unfolding  
Possibility after possibility  
Strategy after strategy  
Tactic after tactic  
It's deafening  
Though it's only in my head  
A mixed blessing  
But due to it I aleady have  
Another trick up my sleeve  
I always have

Giving the others the hints they need  
The game continues  
Along with the noise

The world's neither calm nor nice  
Blame yourself if you still believed in it  
I don't react  
I act and the others react  
Just the way I predict  
Just as I make them do  
And when they notice  
It's already far too late  
And the game's all how I want it to be

My thoughts are  
Spinning  
Like a tremendous storm  
But I use this storm  
To kill the opponent  
Crush'em  
And rise from the depths of hell  
For I only need my own strength  
I don't pray to gods for any favours  
I don't need to  
I struggle on myself  
And eventually get what's mine  
Struggle on till death  
That's how this stormy  
Noisy  
Irrational  
Life is fun


	3. Cards and Soldiers

Music/Lyrics by _Sting, Shape of my Heart_

* * *

The pictures flashed past his inner eye. The pictures rushed through his mind, each one branded into his memory in the very order that they had appeared. It was the memory of card pictures, their symbol and number. He closed his eyes and let them flow. After a few seconds, he reopened them, his pupils concentrated slits, his thoughts focused now.  
His opponent was self-confident and a player with much more years of experience than Hiruma could count for himself. Nonetheless, the blonde didn't fear a game against such opponents. It only helped him focusing his mind on something, in this case, on the order of cards being drawn, being laid and being discarded. It calmed him more than smoking or listening to music or whatever. Because the procedure was always the same:  
Remember every card and you win. Know your opponent's possibilities, their chances, their behaviour and their reactions. And you'll win.

_He deals the cards as a meditation  
And those he plays never suspect  
He doesn't play for the money he wins  
He doesn't play for respect  
He deals the cards to find the answer  
The sacred geometry of chance  
The hidden law of a probable outcome  
The numbers lead a dance_

These cards were his weapons as well as were his flamethrowers, riffles and guns. He could and definitely would crush his counterparts with them.

_I know that the spades are the swords of a soldier  
I know that the clubs are weapons of war  
I know that diamonds mean money for this art  
But that's not the shape of my heart_

One couldn't rely on hope or trust in others. Nobody was perfect, every new game meant that he had to find a new way of thinking round corners, of outwitting his opponent in order to win once again.

_He may play the jack of diamonds  
He may lay the queen of spades  
He may conceal a king in his hand  
While the memory of it fades_

_I know that the spades are the swords of a soldier  
I know that the clubs are weapons of war  
I know that diamonds mean money for this art  
But that's not the shape of my heart  
That's not the shape, the shape of my heart_

Attack is the best defense, so defend yourself, otherwise you're the one being crushed. Being killed. No, he surely wasn't keen on dying although to outsiders it might look different. His cunning strategies more than once involved life-threatening and almost impossible moves – but until now they had worked. And everyone was fine. Well, _fine_ was relative, anyway… His ability to evaluate the people around him with such accuracy made him a fearsome person to most others but that didn't bother him. His image in their minds wouldn't change and he didn't aim for that either. He was fine being seen as a demon because it brought him farther in life, nearer to the victory and made succeeding easier as well. Made surviving easier…

_And if I told you that I loved you  
You'd maybe think there's something wrong  
I'm not a man of too many faces  
The mask I wear is one  
Those who speak know nothing  
And find out to their cost  
Like those who curse their luck in too many places  
And those who fear are lost_

Maybe, there really was something wrong with him. It didn't bother him that other people thought so from the very moment they saw him and it wouldn't bother him if it really was like that. What if something was wrong with him? That wouldn't change anything. Nothing. Nothing at all. He would still be the same Hiruma Youichi as before. Same character, same cunning mind, same intimident appearance and demeanour. Whatever was said to him or happened to him – inside he would probably remain the same bad person.  
There was no rational reason for him to disclose his feelings. The ones he showed – like fun, mischievousness and anger – were sufficient. No need to go any deeper. Remember – attack, otherwise you're the one losing. Usually, emotions interfered with rational thinking and logic. He was able to combine as much of both as possible. No need to go overboard and lose control.  
And don't you dare showing fear. He'd never show a feeling like that. Maybe respect. But just until he had developed a plan that got him into the position to take that opponent out as well. No fear. Control towers were not allowed to show something inferior as that because others were depending on their strength. Use your chances, don't hesitate but strike. You're a soldier, he's a soldier, I'm a soldier. What else do we do but winning the fights lying ahead of us? That's our life, my life. Struggle on and on until you really die - don't let that fun slip through your fingers. Because it's such a good way of filling your life with something, _anything_.

_I know that the spades are the swords of a soldier  
I know that the clubs are weapons of war  
I know that diamonds mean money for this art  
But that's not the shape of my heart  
That's not the shape of my heart_


	4. Facts

What am I looking for  
What am I aiming for  
What am I living for  
Stupid questions because there's no definit answer to any of them  
Drifting through every new day  
Certain routines, certain rules  
Yes, there're rules even for someone like myself  
Because without them, what would be there to break  
Screw the rules, I have money  
A standard saying of adults  
Ridiculous, though not entirely  
I say  
Screw the rules, they don't apply for demons  
Cause that's the image I have  
And why disappoint those who believe in it  
There's no point in doing so, no advantage, no benefit  
On the contrary, my reputation opens doors  
Makes the daily surviving easier and the breaking of rules more amusing  
Helps me winning

Look at me and and try to tell me the future  
I'd walk away without listening to you  
Cause I'm not keen on knowing my future  
It'd be boring if I knew, plain boring  
Besides, every decision leads to a whole lot of different possibilities  
Of different futures  
Why try to cut down most of them  
Plus, there's nothing like a foreordained _future  
_Future is something oneself creates in every second, every moment

It's like a question of free will  
I do what I want to do  
It's my decision to get out of line  
It's solely my decision to scare the hell out of other people  
To blackmail  
To manipulate

Not doing it would be a waste of intelligence  
I know there are many ways to use such a mind as mine  
And I chose the one which promised to be the most entertaining  
Easy, isn't it  
Obvious, isn't it  
But only because I let you think so  
Only because I want it to be obvious  
That's my way of shattering the fragile truth  
To make you recognise the variety of shades the truth can melt into  
By leading you to false conclusions, by playing you like chess figures  
I destroy your idea of a _perfect, definite truth_  
And there's no way I'd want to miss those grimaces of yours  
The moment you have to realise it's not you winning  
But me


	5. Restlessness

A great Thank You to **Bar-Ohki** whose reviews are really encouraging - I'm always happy about them (and others, of course)!  
Hopefully, you all don't have enough of Hiruma yet. Having said this, here you go.

* * *

The stares weren't what got on his nerves. It wasn't the terrible music playing from the ceiling either. Not the unbelievably sappy and naff shop's decoration. It simply was the time he had to wait in front of the cashpoint whilst that incapable collector was desperately searching for the change. As if that could be so difficult... But Hiruma, as impatient and agitated as he was, hated waiting like hell and the angst-filled nervousness of the employee only helped in worsening his already bad mood. Tipping his fingertips on the desk and leaning slightly forward, the high schooler seemed to pierce the man who now was counting the coins on his sweaty palms with his glance.

_Restlessness means you are expecting something.  
Or someone._

When Hiruma finally got his change, he shot the collector a last insulting look, snarling some curses before escaping the stifling air inside the building. Out on the cold streets again, he halted, capturing his surroundings for a few seconds. Realising the white clouds his breath formed momentarily. Then he went off, shortly narrowing his eyes as he passed by the group of Shinryuuji students. Nobody he knew but an unexpected twinge forced him to focuse on unimportant details. His footfall quickened slightly as he stepped round the next corner, heading for a certain place. No, he definitely wasn't heading for a person. He'd rather get some lonely place where he could think than someone who would question him or disturb him with their presence. Sometimes, being all by oneself could help quite a lot.

_Self-imposed solitude means you are different.  
But different from whom?_

Faster than usually because today he felt strangely hounded the blonde youngster arrived at his destination. Sitting down on the tall bureau building's roof he still had a great view over the town and all the people and cars and incidents moving and happening below him. Leaning his head against the staircase's cold concrete wall, he tried to calm down. Not the easiest task for someone who constantly was on the verge of pulling out a fire arm or an ominous black devil's handbook, either shooting at the one who incured his wrath or blackmailing them without any sign of restraint. But he tried nevertheless. Closed his eyes in order to shut out anything else that could distract him. And slowly, his thoughts began to circle around one special name, one certain institution. So this was what had bothered him all day already. Shinryuuji. It was only one week ago that this fucking dreads had taken away Kurita's sports exhibition and nobody from the fucking school administration had objected.

_Friendship means you feel with someone, you think about them.  
Is that good or bad?_

_  
_Hiruma exhaled sharply without opening his eyes yet. Unnerved. Alright, they wanted war, they would get it. His lips pulled back and formed an intimidating, sharp-teethed devil's grin he was almost famous for. Now, that he thought about it in detail, the circumstances didn't seem too bad. He was at the same school as the fucking geezer and fucking fatty and although Deimon High wasn't at all what could be called a famed institute, it provided more than enough partially influential people he could blackmail. The boy with the spiky hair and glistening earrings chuckled but it sounded neither happy nor friendly, just scheming. Founding their own Amerfuto Club since Deimon didn't have one yet would be their first task and as soon as they had built up a strong team, everything would fall into place.  
They wanted war, they would get it. But it wouldn't be a plain American Football match, it would be a bloody fight and Hiruma was poised to give it his all. They'd regret having Kurita kicked out. They'd regret being as arrogant and narrow-minded as their so-called ace. They'd regret daring Hiruma Youichi. _  
_

_Restlessness means you are expecting something.  
Are you looking forward to it?  
Or maybe you are looking for someone.  
Are you keeping an eye on them?  
Staring at them with cold determination, waiting until you are able to reach them.  
Just to bite as soon as you are close enough._


	6. Worn out

Lyrics: Keane, _Perfect Symmetry_

Thank you for reading this short story collection and I hope you like this one as well! (It's very encouraging to have such nice readers/reviewers :) )

* * *

The music flowed quietly in the background; like suave waves, rolling over the shore and back into the ocean without crushing, without noise and without forcing anything to come with it and into its pitch-black depths. Suavely the notes danced lightly as if they were a wind chime.  
He barely noticed it. His piercing eyes were focused on the laptop's luminescent sreen in front of him. For hours now he had sat at the desk in his apartment next to the open window, reading through countless e-mails and articles, hacking into encrypted sites, gathering information whilst sorting them through at the same time – and by now he was utterly unnerved regarding all the bullshit he had to dig through in order to find something usable.

_I shake through the wreckage for signs of life  
__Scrolling through the paragraphs  
__Clicking through the photographs_

Really, he had nothing at all against violence – everybody who knew him could tell you that. At the latest when they found themselves at the end of one of his fire arms and him grinning like a maniac. No, he knew better than trying to live a pacifistic, peaceful life which would just kick you in the arse laughing later on anyway. Such fucking nonsence in the face of the rest of the world... Nonetheless, some of those pictures or articles were plainly disgusting and once again he felt somewhat tired seeing so much irrational hate combinded with so much idiotic stupidity. Found in every part of the world and every new time tiring anew. Because such ignorant behaviour was boring.

_I wish I could make sense of what we do  
__Burning down the capitols  
__Wisest of the animals_

'Tche', Hiruma spat disdainfully as another site popped up on his screen and told him about the great achievements mankind had made thanks to their outstanding intelligence, knowledge and morals.  
Such a narciccistic point of view. Annoying. If the humans had been that great, if they had been such alrounders, many things wouldn't have happened. Things one could disclaim without problem. But humans weren't perfect.  
Would be boring, anyway, the blonde thought, closed a few windows and still had enough left to continue his ominous though for most people inscrutable work since about half of the windows were source texts. The typing lasted about fifteen minutes before Hiruma suddenly paused.

_Who are you, what are you living for  
__Tooth for tooth, maybe we'll go one more_

His eyes wandered through his window and for a few seconds his gaze just drifted away into the void of the sky.  
Then he realised that the music from before was gone. No dancing notes, no waves calming the sea of life on the pavement below, no low wind chime.  
He leaned a little to the left and noticed how, in the building across the street and on the same floor as his room, a figure moved slightly. The glass reflected the sunlight so he wasn't able to distinguish every detail but since his eye sight was pretty good he could make out a piano in the middle of the room and a door which closed in this very moment.  
Now, the piano player was gone as well.  
For a split-second the lanky quarterback and student wondered why he hadn't any information about that person. But then he dismissed the unpleasant thought of not knowing something, as well as the feeling of unpleasentness itself. After all, there were more important facts to concentrate on.  
And even so, for just a few more seconds he only breathed and looked at the musical instrument, his slender fingers resting motionlessly on his keypad.

_This life is lived in perfect symmetry  
__What I do that will be done to me_

When Hiruma returned to finishing his work, another thought crossed the back of his cunning mind. But already he had a solution for the problem which did not yet exist anyway – the payback. No need to worry since all the people who'd probably want him dead or at least in gaol had trapped themselves quite satisfactorily due to their own weaknesses or just embarrassing hobbies and secrets which, to be precise, only remained as secrets as long as they did Hiruma some favours. No, he wasn't scared. He'd been aware of possible negative consequences and how to avoid them from the threat notebook's very beginning. And if, someday, he really had played all his cards, had no counterstrategy left – well, then it was his own fault and he would deal with it like he had dealt with every obstacle blocking his path. He'd find a way. Although it was more than questionable if such a situation could ever happen for real. The youngster hadn't gotten his nickname and reputation for nothing.

_Write page after page of analysis  
__Looking for the final score  
__We're no closer than we were before_

The sun wandered over the sky, trees and power lines and the building opposite the business hotel cast wandering shadows and eventually the student with the striking features and appearance felt as if his own time wandered off as well. Feeling tired, mentally and physically for he had been up since four a.m. today, he rubbed his eyes and tried to think about neither the consequences if they lost the next match nor the blurring surface of the laptop's screen.

_Who are you, what are you fighting for  
__Holy truth, brother, I chose this mortal life  
__Lived in perfect symmetry_

The sounds from the outside subsided and slowly, quietly, the sky grew darker and the street lights awoke and all the while Youichi sat at the desk, head in his hands so his face wasn't to be seen. Did he fall asleep? Or did he only allow himself to seem restful and was working the strategies for his team over and over? One couldn't tell and maybe that was exactly what he had intended.

_What I do that will be done to me  
__As the needle slips into the run out groove  
__Love, maybe you feel it too_

Sometimes, even he had to struggle on. He had told Agon so already, that he would struggle till death in order to win and get what he wanted. Because that way, it was fun. Life was fun. But to tell the truth, sometimes he found it hard to always struggle, to always be the one everybody else relied on. Forunately, his team had evolved and by now it weren't only him, the fucking old geezer and fucking fatty, but the whole team that pushed each other on and took responsibility for reaching their goal.  
And even so... Stay realistic, Hiruma thought and shifted his head a little to see how late it was. 10:38 p.m., his radio clock told him soundlessly. Inwardly, he chuckled slightly when he imagined the future that awaited them. The future awaiting him because he chose it. He would make it real. But reality was a tricky thing and although the blonde loved to make use of his image as the devil himself, he was an atheist and personally didn't care at all about religion and all that irrational hypothetical stuff. Those were just a means to an end, he didn't need any kind of god or the like. And if he had believed, he wouldn't have expected to ascend into heaven someday either. He knew himself well enough.

_And maybe you find life is unkind  
__And over so soon  
__There is no golden gate  
__There's no heaven waiting for you_

11:30 p.m. Where had the time run to? With an annoyed frown and an abrupt motion of his slender hand, the young man shut down the luminous computer and stroke through his hair with the other one. His head was full of the trash he'd been digging through this whole day and half of the night and meanwhile it felt like it was going to burst. Over and over again his mind circled around certain topics, headlines, code words, tactics... And some things just seemed to repeat themselves without reason. Hiruma stood up and went straight into the small bathroom before he let himself fall onto his bed which was – still – a mess of copies, journals and self-written notes. It didn't bother him. He was used to it. And however chaotic his surroundings seemed – first, as a genius he kept the overview in the chaos and second, there was no-one who'd find fault with his mess, let alone dare to tamper with his life style. Living alone had its advantages.  
Lying sprawled on his stomach on the bed, Hiruma Youichi faced the open window as well as the opposite building with the piano. And he wasn't sure if he still had been awake but in the end it didn't matter. For the low melody of the ocean returned shortly after the exhausted student had closed his eyes. Maybe it had just been his superiour memory replaying what it had recorded hours ago in order to make dozing off easier. Hiruma didn't wonder about it for too long since he was just satisfied to be able to get all the unnecessary things out of his head; bit by bit with every new wave that came and drew back into the vastness of the deep blue. In this case, he didn't have to know the reason. He just wandered off into wherever his his sleep would take him.

_Spineless dreamers hide in churches  
__Pieces of pieces of rush hour buses  
__I dream in e-mails, worn out phrases  
__Mile after mile of just empty pages_


	7. Lowdown in the light of dusk

Hello there, finally, here's the next short story of my collection! Although it might be a little different to the ones before, I hope you like it as well.  
Have fun reading and thanks again for your hortative reviews!

_

* * *

_

_And all the commotion  
And all the faces  
Pass by without you noticing  
What you need you won't find in them  
You won't find it in the mess _

A halcyon, pale blue sky sprawling over them, mixing with the river's cool colour to their feet. Rustling willows left and right, their long branches hanging down to the water surface where their touch caused gentle, ringlike waves. Mellow sand. A faint, mild breeze.  
'Say, Hiruma – don't you find it calming here, as well?'  
The blonde young man next to Anezaki Mamori raised an eyebrow and his earrings jingled lowly when he turned his face to look at her.  
'Together with the fucking shrimps screaming their heads off every time they find another crab? I don't think so, fucking manager.'

And with that he returned his gaze lazily to the scenery in front of them: Monta and Sena competing on who would find the most and biggest crustaceans (the short receiver yelled the loudest); Komusubi and his master Kurita just lay on their backs, floating on the water and enjoying the sun on their bellies; Musashi was swimming tour after tour, successfully unaware of Monta's shouts of joy thanks to his earplugs; Tougano, Kuroki and Juumonji were already out of the water again and now lolloping on the little beach, grinning satisfied, in their middle a big bucket with cooled drinks; and Taki tried to teach Yukimitsu his underwater pirouette whilst his little sister Suzuna was occupied with bathing in the sun.

But still, you watch them without complaint or your usual dangerous behaviour, thought Mamori and had to chuckle. Eating some of the creampuffs she and Kurita had bought on the way here, from the corner of her eye she noticed how their quarterback and captain sprawled on the sand before folding his arms behind the head.  
He does seem relaxed, the brunette thought then, inwardly happy about it. And apparantly outwardly, too, as she hadn't realised Musashi coming out of the river and sitting down beside her. Not until he cleared his throat quietly and grinned into her face. She must have looked pretty happy on the outside, too. Well, that wasn't something bad either. Perhabs a little embarassing, but in the end, what for? And so, the devouring of creampuffs continued.

_But all the sounds  
And all the colours  
And everything that you hold dear  
Could, maybe, somehow help you  
To find what you're looking for  
Unconsciously  
_

The next half an hour went by and still the sky wore its light colours without any sign of red which could have indicated the approaching dusk. It was as if the sky wanted to linger as long as it could, just for the sake of proving its summerly existence.  
By now, even some unexpected guest had joined their group: Shin and Sakuraba from the Oujou White Knights had knowledge of this place as a good cooling-down place after practise and were mildly surprised to see that many Deimon players. At least, the tall receiver Sakuraba looked like that; his team mate and Oujou's linebacker Shin, just as usual, wore a rather inscrutable expression. Together they sat down; Musashi exchanged a curt nodd with them, as well as Hiruma who'd unnoticedly sat up. Anezaki greeted the boys and smiled.

'Did you two have enough to drink today? You seem exhausted and it wouldn't be good for you to dehydrate, so if you want, we've got enough water with us', Deimon's manager offered.

'Oh, it's alright, thank you', Sakuraba put down although the sweat was still running down his temples and his t-shirt was soaked. His black-haired companion didn't look much different, except for the much more defined muscles on his bare arms.

'Shin and I come here many a time after training, so we're prepared. But say, Anezaki-san', the blonde now wanted to know curiously. 'How come you and Hiruma aren't fighting? Monta-kun said you two could only get along during matches and he seemed quite serious about it when I last talked to him.'  
He lifted his eyebrows in curiosity.  
Anezaki, in turn, pursed her lips and looked a little pouting for a second before she leaned forward and looked Sakuraba Haruto deep in the eyes with a dead serious expression on her face:  
'You know, it's not like we're children anymore, so there's no way we would – be at strife all the time. Monta-kun just exaggerated the little dispute Hiruma and I had.'

Said blonde cackled suddenly.  
'What about the two of you?', he asked, rather directed at Shin who had just listened quietly up till now. 'Desperately training regarding the World Youth Championship? There's a team training tomorrow, too, only for the Japanese National players, of course. You don't plan on arriving there all worn out, do you? It'd be fucking boring for us if that were the case.'  
'Oooh, Hiruma', Anezaki tried to stop the quarterback, unsuccessfully.  
In that moment, Shin's deep, calm voice was to be heard:  
'Hiruma – we don't intend to disappoint anyone, neither during training nor in the World Cup.'  
Hiruma only smirked at these words as though he'd already known the answer beforehand.  
The black haired Oujou player took a look over the scene in front him – by now, the others had noticed the newcomers and Monta as well as Kurita were already swimming into their direction, heading for the small beach shielded from the usual promenaders.

_Though, still you find yourself  
Straying away  
Falling for the call named Freedom  
Falling for the promise  
Of no responsibility, no dependence  
Wandering about  
'Cause in the end it just tears you apart_

Conversations, heated discussions and laughter arose and eventually, everyone – including even Hiruma Youichi and Shin Seijuuro – ended up in the cool water of the river where a merciless water polo match was held with Anezaki as the referee. In that way letting off steam, the youngsters found themselves quite beat after their fight and, as the shadows grew longer and heavier, satisfied to have done it. At around nine p.m. each single one of them was so exhausted that they gratefully packed together their things and bid farewell to one another.  
Anezaki and Shin were the last to leave since Sakuraba had gone with Monta, totally oblivious to his friend from Oujou since he'd debated fiercely with Deimon's receiver who'd soon be officially his team mate as well.  
A strange silence settled down when the linebacker and the manager slowly followed the already disappearing group up onto the dyke.  
Really strange, thought Anezaki Mamori and cast a side glance at the austere looking young man besider her. I know he doesn't talk that much but it's not an awkward silence. Being with him's rather... comfortable. And yet, after some minutes in amicable hush, she had to pose the question lingering inside her.

'Excuse me, Shin-san...'

He turned his head ever so slightly without decreasing his pace and waited for her to continue.

'Well, I just wondered if – if you could tell me something from the perspective of an actual player. The thing is – if someone asked you to stop training for a few weeks but only because they knew how worn out you were and how important it'd be for your health to have a rest – would you listen to them?'

Shin had listened in silence and didn't answer at once but seemed to really consider her question so she could get an honest answer.  
But, the brunette girl mused whilst she walked alongside him, well, although he does speak rather rarely, he always tells the truth if asked. Wether his counterpart likes it or not, he really sees the things around him like they are and doesn't let himself be influenced by the opinion of others. Which is a strong part of his personality. In fact, all in all, he seems to be a strong person, physically as well as regarding his character.  
Inwardly, Anezaki Mamori found that she somehow respected Shin. It didn't matter that she hadn't known him for so long now or that their contact was limited to the times when either their former teams met or the whole Japanese National came together.

In that moment, said person began to speak, his features serious and yet, in a way, very handsome.

'As a player, fighting in the game I devoted myself to is one of the most important things. If there weren't a serious injury and neither my coach nor a trustworthy doctor told me to stop, then I wouldn't. Athletes need their exercise and their bodies are their capital, so they do anything to keep it in shape and functional.'

Shin paused for a few seconds and seemed to consider his next words. At least, Anezaki imagined him doing that, after all, he belonged to the kind of people who almost constantly wore a pokerface. However... she still had also his fierce expression from the matches in mind and how strong-willed he'd looked like...  
By now, the two students had arrived on the dyke and were walking at the footpath which offered a great view over the river to their right and the vespertine city to their left.  
Anezaki sighed lowly, enjoying the sight and the mild summer air. Nevertheless, her thoughts didn't stop circling around her companion's words, anxiously.

_Move on, move on  
Never ever fall behind  
For in this world  
No-one waits for you  
Keep struggling, keep fighting  
Never ever lose sight of your goal  
For in this world  
There aren't many things  
That push you forward and make you as strong  
As a promise you set up yourself  
_

Suddenly, Shin continued his answer and whilst he did, he looked the brunette directly in the eyes.

'The person you talk about might mean well but players have their pride. And in the end, it's often themselves who know their constitution best', he'd captured Anezaki's gaze with his own deep black eyes, 'So maybe you should trust Hiruma to know his limitations, despite you being worried.'

Feeling caught, she inhaled to respond but the linebacker added something that let her hesitate and listen.  
'As Deimon's manager you must have noticed as clearly as everyone who's fought your team, that he's a tactician. And someone like him wouldn't ruin his health for good, especially not with the World Cup so close.'

Shin's mien relaxed a little and he almost seemed to smile which – regardless of the minimality of his mimic – made Anezaki feeling relieved in a way she'd never have expected. He'd only told her the plain facts he was able to distinguish without being emotionally biased. And yet, it was this objectiveness which helped her the most.  
Grateful, she smiled back at him before they both moved on in unwound silence, the low rustle of leaves and the smell of water, sweat and sunlight all around them.


	8. Heaven's not enough

Alright, here you are and I'm glad about it - this chapter is dedicated to **Bar-Ohki **and **Toya1255** who apparantly just don't get tired of writing me a review to these chapters. And that makes me deeply happy and all the more eager to write - especially for nice readers and reviewers like them! Thank you!

(For a change, this might be to the liking of HirumaxMamori fans. :) )

* * *

_What if there was an 'us'?_

_Heaven's not enough  
You say  
And I have to agree  
Since heaven alone would mean  
That we weren't allowed to hold onto each other  
To feel what connects us  
In such a weird and yet unique way  
Unique, at least for me  
So unique, I don't want to miss it_

_Heaven, good-bye  
I say, I don't need a place  
Which would seperate the both of us  
For by now, it's 'us'  
And not just 'me' or 'you' alone anymore_

_I embrace you firmly  
Want to show heaven and hell  
And the world in between  
That you're mine  
And not to be taken by anyeone else_

_Heaven's not enough  
You say  
And I smirk at your determined words  
Wrapping your arms around me  
It seems as if you wanted  
To make clear the same as me  
'You're mine'_

_Don't like the feeling of being bound to anything  
Especially not people  
But in this case  
It's nothing I didn't choose  
I'm not bound, I only found  
Something that makes me feel more complete  
And that's a good feeling_

_I'm not bound, just – satisfied  
Who would need a heaven  
In which such a feeling would cease  
In every case, neither you nor me_

_Heaven's not enough  
We whisper  
But together we don't feel the need for anything more  
Than we have in that very moment_

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'OI! Don't stare into space whilst your job is over here, fucking manager!'

Startled, Anezaki Mamori lifted her head at the aggressive voice and found herself nearly pierced by Hiruma Youichi's glare. Irritated and aggressive as always, the National quarterback stood next to the other control towers of the Japanese team, apparantly waiting for her notices on the play they'd been doing for about half an hour now. It had to be said, that at least Kid-san didn't look quite as unnerved as the blonde – and not half as dangerous (although that'd be a false assumption for any opponent) for he didn't carry a heavy black riffle over one shoulder either.

To her shame, Anezaki who'd sitten on the bench in order to watch the National players's moves and plays, had to admit that she'd really pondered too much about Amefuto-unrelated things in the last few minutes.  
Blushing ever so slightly because normally she was in no way an unconcentrated or even neglectful person, she rummaged through her notes and shouted a few sentences to the boys.  
Fortunately, Kid was kind enough to call Hiruma's attention to their next strategy, so – at least for the time being – there wouldn't be any harsh discussions on why she'd drifted off during her job.

The truth, as superficial or sappy it might seem, was that she'd read a poem the day before which turned out to be more adherent to her memory than she'd thought. Obviously, it hadn't been such a good idea to look through some short story collections and the like shortly before going to bed but the title had caught her interest and in the end she couldn't help but remembering the whole thing.  
'The whole _damned_ thing', Anezaki mumbled, not even realising her little cursing.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'What do you think, she's thinking of?'

'Maybe creampuffs?'  
'The analysis of today's practise?'  
'How well we played?'  
'Don't know, don't wanna.'s girl's stuff.'  
'… hmf.'

'Yeah, I think you're right, Musashi-nii', Suzuna stated and jumped around the adult-looking kicker, not loosing sight of the brunette manager sitting on the opposite side of the field. Whilst a few of the National players had gathered around the young and dedicated inline skating cheerleader who'd given out some drinks to the sweat-soaked students and was now watching her beloved Mamo-nee, exactly that person was again staring into space. But with a somehow dreamy expression on her face.  
Sliding one hand through his dark iroquois, Musashi's corner of the mouth twiched lightly; something seemed to haven taken over Anezaki's attention and since, obviously, it was nothing taking place on the field, it unnerved Hiruma who was used to have everyone work as they were expected to without being distracted.

Suzuna continued and skated an elegant circle around the reliable and sometimes daunting kicker.  
'It must be something really nice but her mouth doesn't start to water so it can't be anything delicious to eat like, say, creampuffs. And she doesn't have that slight frown either which she always has when brooding over analysing plays or the like. No, Mamo-nee is definetely thinking about... Ha!'  
The short-haired girl grinned, more than pleased with herself and her solution.  
'She's thinking about –'  
In that moment she caught herself and dashed straight across the American Football field towards the brunette.  
Surprised by the sudden attack, Anezaki's gaze cleared and a little startled she looked at Suzuna, asking if something was wrong or if she needed anything.  
The cheerleader shook her head before leaning forward to her and whispered:  
'Mamo-nee, did you read the book I commended you? You don't find the content too cheesy, do you? Anyway, I really had to wonder about wether some boys, inwardly, maybe felt exactly like those romantic ones in the book? Wouldn't that be great?'

Taken by surprise face to face to such directness, Anezaki had to gulp, but then retorted:  
'My, who would think that those rude and violent boys could ever get the idea of what a romantic situation or phrase was?'  
She smiled unconvincingly but her eyes trailed back to exactly those rude and violent boys on the field and Suzuna folded her arms, pure smugness and very content with her earlier doing.  
In another turning, the cheerleader was about to skate off but paused for a moment.  
'Alright then, Mamo-nee – surely, you have to be right; you're much more mature than me, after all, aren't you.'  
Said student wasn't sure wether she could hear a low giggle or not.  
'But you know, You-nii told me to tell you that you normally do a good job and that he'd rather have you around at all times... Wonder how he meant that since he himself's usually veeery stingy with compliments, ne?'

And with those words, Taki's younger sister disappeared back towards the players in order to put away the by now empty drink cups.  
Anezaki stared after her, pondering on her words, almost lost in thoughts again. But then her gaze focused on the National team members, on some in particular, and she suddenly felt a deep, calm happiness. This was where she wanted to be. These were the people she felt close to and their dream had become her own dream as well by now.

_Something that makes me feel more complete_

_  
_'The Christmas Bowl is not enough anymore', she whispered lowly and her light blue eyes didn't lose track of another blue pair, ice-blue and piercing, cold and yet, at times, fierce and penetrating.  
Against part of her will, some kind of admiration crept in her image of the spikey haired blonde with the devilish reputation. Many certain small gestures and actions of him made it impossible for her to see him as a thoroughly bad person any longer. And – surprisingly – it didn't bother her as much as assumed. Somehow it even made her... eased.  
The Christmas Bowl was not enough anymore, now they had to fight their way on the world stage. And they would achieve their goal, they had to.  
Inhaling deeply, Anezaki picked up her half-finished notices, stood up from the bench and headed briskly for the rest of the National team. Her team. No-one here would feel completely lonely anymore, of at least that, she was sure.

_Heaven's not enough  
We whisper  
But together we don't feel the need for anything more  
Than we have in that very moment_


	9. Everyone treasures something

Thank you to everyone who favours this story and/or reviews it! I'm sorry there hadn't been any update for so long, but I hope you like these poems beside the chapter's shortness. Sometimes "Brevity is the soul of wit." And longer short stories will come soon, please have a little patience and enjoy these poems for now! :)

* * *

_Kakei & Mizumachi  
_

And if we fall  
We fall together  
And wether it's you or me  
Who hits the ground first  
It hurts all the same  
Because we are a team  
Together we conquer the oceans  
Together we rule over Poseidon's waves  
Towering high over anyone else  
That's our strength  
That's us  
And if it ever happened  
That we were to drown  
Then it wouldn't bother me enough to give up hope  
Because we'd drown together  
Together we conquer the oceans  
We turn the game's tide to our favour  
And if we were to drown in the end  
I wouldn't drown in despair  
For it would be the both of us  
Together  
Because we are friends

------------------------------------------------------------

_A winner team_

And the wind bristles over  
Our faces, lit by the fading light of day  
And the sky seems infinite given  
All the chances it covers and views  
Stretching our arms as if we wanted  
To embrace that very sky  
Or even the world  
We conquered  
We let our dreams fly high  
Let our shouts of joy and our laughing  
Soar into infinity and stay in our memory  
Since for this moment, only this one  
We achieved everything  
And it can't be taken from us by anyone  
Because we are invincible  
We are strong  
We are alive  
And we are free

------------------------------------------------

_Kamiya Taiga_

I run till I can't breath no more  
I force my legs to keep moving till they don't feel no more  
I nearly let my muscels burn to ashes  
But I can't stop now  
I musn't falter  
Musn't look back  
See the goal right there in front of me?  
It's not reaching it  
But reaching it as the first  
In the end, that's what it comes down to  
For a runner  
To be the very first  
And leave everyone else behind  
And so I run till I can't breath no more  
For that's what I'm made for  
For that's how I want to fulfill myself  
That's how I feel the freedom deep within me  
And waiting at the goal at the same time  
Calling my name again and again


	10. Phantoms and Psyche

Thank you for your patience and please enjoy the new chapter! ^^

* * *

_Nobody knows  
What you're seeing  
Nobody knows  
What you're feeling  
And you won't tell  
No, you won't tell  
Anyone  
'Cause anyone could betray  
Anyone would soon say 'bye'  
Oh, you won't tell  
No-one will know  
What you're listening to  
In the dead of the night  
In the silence of your solitude  
'Cause you treasure these  
Soundless, frozen moments  
Like a precious lover  
And so nobody knows  
What you're seeing  
Nobody knows  
What you're feeling  
And you won't tell  
No, you won't tell  
But keep on fighting  
Your way through a world  
That you've unmasked so long ago  
Always wishing yourself back  
To your moments of frozen tranquility  
Because the noise around you  
Let's you want to close your eyes  
And sink to the bottom of  
The ocean's mute darkness  
_

Hiruma turned off the radio he'd listened to absent-mindedly. Such depressing music was not his style- He preferred either some good hard rock or punk or piano music. Strange taste, maybe, maybe not. Why not be variously coloured? Anyway, now that the radio was off, the starting silence was deafening. Unnverved, the blond student gazed around his room in the hope of finding some good CD lying somewhere, but most of his apartment was covered under books, gazettes, American Football and sports magazines or self-written reports, analyses and strategy graphics. A huge amount of instant food and fruits could also be spotted on a hopelessly overpacked table. The youngster stared for another few seconds before returning to his initial doing: relaxing.

Arms crossed behind his head, lying spread on his bed, he'd been trying for about half an hour now to get some sleep. A look to the watch on his cupboard showed that it was already half past two. In the morning. After the regular practise with the other members of the Japanese National Amefuto team, he'd visited the training room once more, stemming weights and finally changeing his bench press record from 75 to 85 kilogramme. By then it had already been around eleven thirty and jogging his way back to the business hotel he inhabited had cost him another full hour. A short cool-down and a shower and it was the middle of the night. He hadn't been able to eat anything since lunch; he'd only get sick if he forced some food into his body after training. But he hadn't any appetite after sports anyway.  
However, his muscles ached and although the soreness in his limbs screamed at him to drift off into the calmness of sleep at least, something kept him awake. Youichi felt the tiredness heavy on his whole lank body but sleep just wouldn't come. So he'd turned on the radio with the idea of distraction and letting himself being lulled into the dreamland. It was no use. Most of the songs were not even his taste and rather unnerved than calmed him.

With a low moan, the tall, slender quarterback stood up, momentarily slightly swaying on his feet for the sudden motion had caused his vision to go black see stars blinking before his eyes. Hiruma shook his head and made the few steps over to his balcony. He opened the glass door and leaned against the frame, letting the crisp night air in which was full of sounds he recognised with his pointed ears as the distant laughter of a woman who was probably just saying good-bye to her friend after a long evening; as the mewing of cats straying through their territory as self-confident by night as by day; as individual cars driving by on the main street some hundred metres away; as...

'Can't sleep?'

Hiruma turned his head and looked into the face of a woman who was standing on the small balcony left to his own. Her grey hair fell in soft locks down onto her shoulders which were a little hunched, her dark brown eyes were surrounded by wrinkles as seemed to be her whole face and even the delicate hands she had laid onto the balcony's railing.  
Cocking one eye-brow sceptically, the youngster said:  
'Maybe I just don't want to sleep. Wouldn't know that it's your business though.'

'Oh, I could see the shadows under your eyes even from here, so I thought I should ask. Out of politeness, maybe.'  
She smiled and then continued. Even her voice sounded old.  
'And also – you have an air of solitude. Look a little forlorn, sad. That shouldn't be, child.'

Hiruma made a dismissive hissing noise, his ear-rings jingled lowly.  
'Tche. Why don't you bother someone else, baba? You've got nothing to do with me anyway and it's not like I couldn't take care of my life myself. So just let me be.'

The old woman sighed and looked up to the crescent moon and the stars faintly glimming in the velvet night sky.  
'I've lived in this hotel even longer than you, Hiruma Youichi', she said without averting her gaze from the sky.  
'I guess, you know that the owner grants me my own room because he's my grand-son. Anyway, not even once did I see you coming here with anyone together. One time, there was this big, friendly boy who helped me up the stairs... but that was several years ago and since then you're always all alone up here.'  
She made a pause. When she stated her question, she looked directly at the blond young man to her right who hadn't shown any reaction yet.  
'What about your parents? Don't you have any family that could be at your side?'

Hiruma tunred towards her and dangerously grinned, showing his pointed teeth whilst he answered.  
'You're right, of course I'd know about the only other person who lives here in the long run and I know about your grand-son's little cheats concerning this hotel's actual size. But like I said, baba, I'm none of your business and you better keep it that way.'  
'…Are you so embittered, child, that you cannot even talk about it to someone as nonhazardous as me? It wouldn't harm you, you know. And also – I'm not worried about my well-being. You're not a bad boy.'

The scrawny quarterback didn't answer, just stared into space.  
The old woman spoke again and as she did so, her voice had a caressing tone, almost like the soothing touch of a beloved hand.  
'Sometimes – sometimes family is not the most important thing. Sometimes, you're even better off without your "real" family. That can be the case in this world. More importantly, do you have friends whom you trust? Who keep you grounded? Who mean something to you?'

Hiruma moved, turned around as if he wanted to go back inside, but halted, one hand already at the glass door. Looking into the old woman's face and her eyes, surrounded by laughter lines, he calmly said:  
'You bet I have.'  
And then he allowed himself a wry smile and the old woman returned it.  
'Then I wish you a good sleep, Hiruma Youichi', she stated and the the darkness of the night swallowed her friendly face, the balcony, even the light of the heavenly bodies.

* * *

When Hiruma awoke, he found himself lying on the floor, arms wrapped around a cushion that must have fallen down from his bed, but surprisingly well-rested. Standing up, he stretched and felt that the soreness of his limbs had gone over night.  
A blurred image of a person talking back to him appeared in the back of his mind. Frowning, he made himself some black coffee and a slice of toast whilst he tried to remember that person's face. After some sips of the warm, dark drink, the old woman stood clearly before his inner eye, the only long-time neighbour he had.  
Strange old wrinkly, the blond youngster thought, finished his meal and went to bath-room. Fortunately, today was a Saturday, so he would't have to mind about either lessons or practice which left him enough time to look after his own personal business or – for a change – just relax. Which again, wouldn't be easy for him. To get away from it all had never been easy and would never be, but – he worked on it. And eventually, eventually…  
The early spring-time let a crisp breeze wash over him as soon as he stepped out onto the footpath, but the sun was already gathering strength and slowly warming up the bare skin of his forearms and face as he headed for the dyke and a calm walk. He didn't really acknowledge the contradiction which the shouldered machine gun posed to this goal.  
And then, somewhere along the street, he saw the ambulance. And he saw the doctors on call leaning over the small figure of a delicate old woman.  
Hiruma didn't run but just walked over to them. One of the doctors attempted to turn him away until he recognised the dubious high school student standing there and acted as if he wasn't existent.  
With an attentive gaze, he looked over the old woman who lay motionless on the footpath near the narrow green area. Her eyes were closed and he saw at once that her breast wasn't lifting and lowering, that no fresh air filled the lungs every few seconds. That she was too still.  
'What happened to her?', Hiruma asked, hands still in his pockets and the black rifle dangling intimidating over his anyway predatory appearance. He could guess the answer, though.  
'Probably a dizzy spell', the blackmailed doctor said earnestly. 'But the actual reason should simply be old age. She regularly visited our hospital and was in good health. But eventually, the body just reaches its limitations. It's a shame, she must've been lying here since yesterday afternoon and we only got the call this morning… She was a really warm-hearted lady. I'm sorry.'  
It had just slipped out of his mouth before he could stop himself. Later, that doctor would tell himself it had just been the force of habit because he often saw ill or injured people as well as relatives moaning over a patient's death. He didn't quite manage to convince himself.

* * *

Hiruma spent the whole day straying around, sitting down on park bench to read some newspaper or magazine before straying farther. He felt neither desperate nor especially sad. He had only spoken to the old woman once and otherwise had no relation to her. But still, in that short time she had gotten Hiruma to acknowledge her as a person he wouldn't want to blackmail, let alone threaten.  
At the end of the day, he daundered home, having spent enough thoughts on the old woman as well as a lot of others things. And yet, it had done him good to have spent this free day alone and where no-one could distract him from resting on his oars in his own way.  
Back in his apartment, he opened the glass door to the small balcony and let his gaze wander from the sky, over the opposite buildings, to his left where yesterday night the old woman had stood and smiled at him.

There was no balcony.

But Hiruma smiled nonetheless.


	11. Thunderbolt & Clouds and Water

So, finally another a new "chapter", and also finally a tribute to the Kongo Brothers. :) Enjoy reading, another short story chapter will be uploaded soon.

* * *

_Kongô Unsui_

They look at me  
They look at him  
They don't see  
They just presume  
And nothing's ever changed

We were one  
Once, we were one  
As close as you could be  
And it hurts

Sometimes it hurts  
To see how different we've become  
How I understand him  
And yet don't comprehend him at all  
How I feel just like him  
And yet have never felt the same

There's never been such  
Anger  
Egomania  
Ruthlessness  
Violence  
In me  
As in him

There's  
Consideration  
Determination  
Endeavour  
Trouble  
Resignition to a fate  
I had no control over  
In me

How can we be twins  
And at the same time be so different  
How can we be brothers  
And at the same time be so strange

They look at him  
They look at me  
They look away and slag me off  
And I am used to it  
And use the disappointment  
Their disappointment of me  
My disappointment of not being him  
And try harder

Sometimes I'm angry  
Just like you  
Sometimes I feel like punching someone  
For bad-mouthing me  
Or just for smiling at me knowingly  
Sickenly pitying  
Sometimes I almost enjoy the anger  
And try even harder to use it for spuring myself on  
So that someday  
I can be satisfied with my capabilities

So that someday  
I can stop comparing myself to you  
And just be proud of being who I am

* * *

_Kongô Agon_

They look at me  
And only me  
They never cease to worship  
The God among humans  
They better not

It's me on the top  
I'm on the top of the world  
Untouchable  
Unforgiving

And whoever tries to defy me  
Whoever tries to crawl up  
And scratch at my unmoving throne  
I'll crush completely

All the trash at my feet  
I will crush  
With ease  
With contempt  
Without hesitation  
Effortless

There's no-one close to the top  
There's no-one close to me  
'Cause no-one's worth it

Some do have the nerve, though  
Trying to approach the top league  
Above which I tower  
Some nobodies  
Who are not as much trash  
As the whole rest of humanity

Their reasons  
Their problems  
Their aiming high  
I couldn't care less

Tell the truth  
They're just dragging me down  
Those half-arsed trashes  
To my mighty self  
They're nothing more than entertainment  
A nice distraction to  
The whining wimps  
I beat to a bloody pulb  
Because I feel like it  
A nice diversion to  
The women getting annoying fast enough  
After having had fun with them  
A nice distraction

I'll discard them  
As soon as they get boring, too  
Why would I waste my time  
With boring nobodies  
But as long as it's fun  
I'll continue crushing anyone  
Who's unlucky or hyte enough  
To get onto their turf  
And thus onto mine


End file.
